On Monday of this week we went to court (again...) over the 'parenting time' issues with my husband's ex-wife. While I know that it is late in the game to continue arguing over the time the two older kids (17, 13) spend with us, it was related to me in a VERY clear way that my husband would not give up on his kids. While, at the same time I am sure the ex-wife had her anti-dad, poor-me brainwasher in full effect. Those two can not get along. It is either because they are both determined, both love their kids or that some one in particular, who has gone through more than one relationship in the past year can not get her emotional issues in check to let go of her children... oops did I say her? Maybe it's all of the above. No matter how you say it or see it, it is a struggle to be a part of this situation and watch what these two kids go through. It is draining. I will be anxious to hear what the judge says in his ruling after he meets with the kids, especially since they are with her immediately before the judge visit.
My 4 year old has been giving the preschool teacher a run for her money. He has a very demanding sort of personality. Smalley would call it the Lion, or someone else would say Choleric or the 'D' in the DISC system. He's sure of what he wants, sure of who will (and won't) tell him how to do it, get it or what not. So, I have had to be on behavior patrol lately. He's been crying and sulking at every direction that doesn't fit what he wants. So, to the corner he goes... he's gotten down the concept of crying = more time. He is also understanding the concept of TV= privilege. So, progress has been made. It is just one of those times as a mom where he is very needy - and it's not the kind of needy like when they just need a snuggle, it's the not so fun need of discipline.
My 12 year old was diagnosed a few years back with ADHD. Until he was diagnosed I thought this disorder was well, a sad label that was given to busy boys. Now, I have come to know this as something that can affect an entire family. When he's having a off day - he completely monopolizes my attention and time to try and keep him focused as he has NO FOCUS on his own. So, any opportunity that is left open to irritate a sibling, any opportunity to be distracted while doing homework, any thing other than that what he needs to be doing seems to get his attention. Last night, he related to me that he struggled to even pick up the pencil when he's not medicated. I can not even in my most porcrastinating moods imagine a struggle that big at his age. He is in 6th grade this year and it is quite challenging. He spends not less than 1 hour but more like 1.5 -2 hours each night on homework. He forgot his meds again yesterday and a math assignment that should have taken 30 minutes took 4 hours. I was ready to pull my hair out. I kid you not, this was by far the most challenging day in quite sometime.
My 2 year old knows her ABC's - not the song but by sight - I have no idea how she learned this or how I facilitated any of it. It is amazing, we read some books, she has an alphabet bus that says the names of the letters and away she goes. She is so busy and so smart I can hardly turn my back on her, because when I do she: helps herself to my make-up, strips claiming to have to 'potty', or finds what every writing utensil her older siblings have left in her reach and tattoos, embellishes, or signs her signature on something.
Our little buddy "J" who comes here for child care is teething and learning to creep around the furniture all at the same time - if he is not crying over teeth, it's because someone said no. He is not a happy camper.
I am in a busy season a more 'seasoned' friend shared with me ... busy... hmm I would call it more like insane but I guess that comes with the territory. I am finding that the earlier I get up intending on some quiet time to gain some wisdom from the Lord the earlier my kids get up, it seems like a wicked cycle some days. I am so thankful that life does go in seasons and this too will pass. I'm not going to wish it away but try to find more joy in the struggles because I know deep down somewhere there is joy or at least a lesson to be learned.
The verse that has been on my window ledge and my computer screen is Ps. 126: 5-6 (find it here) so that I remember -this time may be hard but there will be singing someday when this planting season is over.
And with that I hope to be back soon...
2 comments:
Great to hear from you!! And I love the pictures...
I am studying the Psalms right now in a Bible study and today's Psalm was 126....wow
I had to read your post again, as I knew I missed something. You have your hands full, but we already knew that. I can only relate to 2 of your children, because my two are the same ages as yours. Each one of mine is experiencing something similar to yours and so I can understand on an emotional level, how "challenging" it can be to try and stay on top of those individual needs and struggles, making all of theirs your own. But between us, you see the irony in all of this, the sun over the clouds, light over darkness...I'm just beginning to scratch the surface, trying to figure out what these struggles are all about. But like you, I know deep down there is a lesson to be learned, so for that reality check, I thank you.
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